Claire Scott ~ Biography
How The Continuum Concept method fitted into my life.

I read the Continuum Concept book, by Jean Liedloff when my first daughter was 8 months old. It was a hugely affirming book as well as enlightening. The main premise of the book actually struck me as being very straightforward. Hold your baby, so you meet it’s needs, but don’t focus on it; simply move through your life, engaging in your own tasks and activities.
  
So how did I get here?

I was born in 1974 and grew up in Letchworth with my parents and brother, Paul. I am now a single mother living in Hertford with my 2 daughters, Emily (9) and Holland (7), both of whom are being brought up using the Continuum Concept methods.

I was a registered nurse in my pre-baby life, and also dabbled briefly with recruiting nurses, which was where I met my ex husband, the father of my children. After a divorce 5 years later, I moved to Hertford and started my own business; which I ran from home while carrying my second baby constantly in the Didymos sling. I met my current business partner (Martine) who is now my confidante, buddy and an all round great woman, in Hertford at a Green Fair. We soon merged our businesses and spent our time passionately developing products we believe in and which we hope will help women and men in their own quest for a better world.

We’ve discussed the Continuum Concept in great depth over the years, and despite our very different personalities agree fundamentally that Jean Liedloff’s observations are a correct interpretation on human behaviour.

For me the Continuum Concept was not just about how to bring up babies and even children, but was a whole shift in my perspective on life, how I should be living and how it can massively benefit our families and community.

For me it’s progressive and revolutionary.

I dug a little deeper and discovered the author Daniel Quinn. His works smacked of revolution. With my head buried deeply in his books; I met regularly with likeminded people and developed what evolved to be our support network ~ a community. We met regularly, sharing tasks and discussing a lifestyle that respects our evolutionary expectations. Chores (as our culture has labelled them) actually became a pleasure, as my new found friends came to my house and shared the job while we chatted. Our babies remained a non-focus (strapped to our backs or in slings on our front) and the older children played or joined in with our tasks. I reciprocated at my friends houses and discovered I was meeting my emotional needs while I assisted them with their tasks. It was liberating and empowering. 
For me, the Continuum Concept is a completely natural and instinctive way of not only treating and responding to our babies but also for living our lives.

I was able to use the core methods in my life with my own children; by home birthing and extended breastfeeding on cue.

I had Holland in arms (and not just mine) from birth until about 6 months, when she then decided to become the intrepid crawler! I used a sling called the Didymos, which saved my arms and enabled me to be completely hands free, while I started my small home-based business. Even the sceptics in my life were converted after they tried it.

Co sleeping was as easy and convenient as I thought it would be, my babies slept alongside me. I slept well and heavily each night, I kept them safe and calm and I was able to breastfeed (after about 6 weeks without waking) in bed without getting up. There was never any fear of me rolling on them, which is a common fear; I instinctively knew they were there. Co Sleeping is vital for anyone having a sleep crisis and worried (rightly so) about leaving their baby to cry alone.
For everyone who is concerned about the proverbial making-a-rod-for-your-own-back ~ both my children sleep alone now, go to bed independently and sleep well from 8pm until 7am. They have slept well since they were born and because there was a gradual progression from the family bed, they had their needs met and were happy to move to their own beds and sleep independently when the time was right. It is normally about the age of 2 – 3 that children want their own bed, and Holland was 2 ½ and Emily was 4 ½. This was right and good for our family. We all still love cuddling in my big bed. On Sundays, Emily will bring me a cup of coffee and climb in for a snooze.

My partner Andrew is now very much a part of our lives. Since we met, Andrew has been a tower of strength for me and a massive support.

There were times as my children grew from toddler-hood where I needed extra guidance on incorporating the continuum concept into our lives. I found myself clueless at times on how to treat my children and I soon had a demanding daughter on my hands. I was loosing a grasp on my parenting ideals and needed to read the book again. The CC list has always been a massive support and aligns me back to the cc way of thinking. My children needed me to stand firm and be confident. They needed a mum who was in control, responded compassionately and knew what was happening. An article on the continuum-concept website allowed me to realise that I was being child-centred. It’s a behaviour that is common amongst parents and can stem from guilt and low self esteem.

Jean Liedloff describes how being child-centred leaves our children with the impression that we don’t know what we are doing. Children look to us for the answers and for us to be confident, calm and in control. As soon as we look to them for the answers or to give them choices, it leaves our children anxious and insecure resulting in demanding and contrary behaviour.

Scott Noelle, a parenting coach describes this well: “When we give the kind of attention in which we are constantly asking our children what they want or need — when they sense our feelings of uncertainty or fear of failing to meet their needs (and our own projected needs) — then naturally they will feel unsettled if not completely freaked out!

This is no different for adults. Think how you’d feel if you needed brain surgery and the surgeon seemed to lack confidence in his or her ability. Of course, you’d seek another surgeon with whom you felt secure, but self-confidence alone would not be adequate. You’d want someone who would also pay close attention to your needs throughout the process.”
 
Liedloff recommends we avoid child-centeredness by focusing our attention on our normal, adult activities while carrying our babies and including our children in such a way that they can observe and eventually participate. But most importantly, meeting their needs with compassion and without judgement.

As I mentioned earlier, The Continuum Concept is not just a way to raise a baby, but to raise children and also a way of life. The main premise of the book is to trust your instincts and to trust your child’s instincts. For many people this is quite a hard part of the concept to adjust to. Our society constantly warns us that our children are simply not capable. They need to have plastic scissors, never use a sharp knife, aren’t allowed to run or climb trees (forever being told the self fulfilling prophesy that they’ll fall)…. The list is seemingly endless and children not only can’t learn their own physical boundaries and develop their dexterity but also grow up with little to no skills equipping them for life! How many teenagers know how to wash up? Change the oil in a car? Mend a puncture on a bike? Change a plug? Cook chilli con carne? A few I’m sure, but not many!

It reaffirms for me, that children should be included in our lives. As modern as our lives are, there is a place for them and this is what they need and expect. The trick, I learned, was never to make them the centre of attention, but to allow them to be welcomed and included in everything I do. When cooking dinner, I would do it at the table or to bring a chair up to the work surface, so they could join me to chop vegetables. Because knives were always available to them, they were never a fascination and have only ever used them as a tool. Now, my 9 year old daughter is completely capable of preparing and cooking a full dinner for four people on her own.

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